Family plot

We all have crazy families.

Seriously. Don't think yours is so special. I hear about the wildest family relationships and dysfunction on a daily basis. Some make me laugh while others make me sob.

So many of us have recovering, or active, addicts in our lives. Parents or siblings who have nothing nice to say, ever. Family members who do not know the meaning of the word support, regardless of its context as emotional or financial. We have liars and attention hogs, narcissists, golden boys and lost children. We have abusive relationships, physical, verbal, emotional. We have heartbreak and sorrow. We have aggression and grudges and cutting people off and out.

We also have unconditional love. We have forgiveness. We have letting it go. We have moving on. We have our chosen families, our friends, our coworkers, our meaningful conversations and passing smiles to strangers. We can choose to wallow in the black hole of ludicrous actions and reactions that we were all born into (despite what you think is the perfect family...I've seen the underbelly of some of those, and they are truly, truly ugly), or we can raise our heads to the sky, let out a primal scream and live our own lives.

That's right. I said it. Your family is just that, family. You are your own person. Do that. Be that. Live like you count, on your own. You do.

I believe that we have something to learn from even the worst family dynamics. I try to turn my own around. It has taken me a long, long time, but I have learned forgiveness. I have learned to identify the positive, even in the meanest, most hateful and most cowardly people who were supposed to be my role models, my heroes.

I also choose to take my family as they are, with their limitations, rather than expecting them to be the movie or television versions that I've lived my life hoping they would become. We could have a sit-com. Maybe a dram-edy. We're not quite Dallas, but we're definitely not Nashville. We're more like Matlock meets Designing Women meets Melrose Place meets Seinfeld meets The Wonder Years meets The Victory Garden meets The Barefoot Contessa.

Not a bad combo, especially since we're not anywhere close to The Sopranos or Justified...or Shameless. Although, an argument could be made that we have a little bit of each of those, too. Could always be worse! Love 'em or leave 'em. I choose to love my family. With all of our quirks, at least we're interesting.