Grateful doesn't do it justice.

A year ago, I was waiting to hear if I had breast cancer after having biopsies in both breasts two days earlier. I was lucky. My cells were normal, if unusual in a woman under 40 years old.

It was a terrifying 2.5 days of anticipation. I cried. A lot. I was also, thanks to a recommendation from my sister, who took care of me, that I get a serious pain killer, asleep for much of it.

I made a lot of phone calls when my sister wasn't sitting with me. I cried to my friends around the country, scared that after having an unbearably stressful end of a job I lived and breathed, I was in for something much worse.

I was lucky. My sister made sure I understood what the doctor told me before the biopsies, carted me home, and bought me lunch. She slept over, in case I needed anything. A wonderful friend brought me food, so I didn't have to cook. Another friend sent a care package from California. Yet another friend, from Boston, sent chocolate and a teddy bear.

I was surrounded by love and caring. I knew that no matter what, I was going to be okay.

I was lucky. I am lucky.

This year on October 17, I drove to Knoxville, in awe at the spectacle of autumn, spent the day with my mom at the University of Tennessee's farmers' market and McClung Museum, had dinner with she and my dad at one of my favorite restaurants, and had a surprisingly good blind first date. I say surprisingly, not because of him, or the childhood friend who set us up, but because of my legendarily bad dating history.

I hope that next year, as I approach the last of my every-six-month mammogram check-ups, that I am able to enjoy the fall colors, eat a fresh-picked apple, and spend the day with people I love.

Oh, and if you haven't done a breast exam in a while, don't be scared if you find something new; take a deep breath, call your doctor and get checked. Wishing everyone clear mammograms and strong support systems.

"Free" Time on My Hands

The rewards of gardening...and patience.

I have been unemployed a total of five times in my 15 years of working. The shortest stint was three weeks. The longest, three months. I'm 1.5 months into this stretch, and feel like I've got it down pat.

I'm not saying it's fun to be unemployed. Far from it. I spend hours each day trolling employment listings and applying for jobs, making lists of who to reconnect with, wrestling with the unemployment website and telephone weekly certification systems, and deciding if I have the remaining funds to have a social life. That said, I have embraced a few minor luxuries.

One of the perks of being at home all day is that I get to do my favorite stress activity: COOKING! This week alone, I've canned 15 quarts of pickles, and made a batch of coconut, Benedictine, pecan, chocolate chip brownies; vegetarian kibbeh; 1/2 gallon of fresh squeezed lemonade; a gallon of chai; turmeric-vegetable bulgur wheat pilaf; roasted veggies and tofu; pizza with homemade dough; a loaf of oat bread; and summer rolls. And the week's not over yet!

To be fair, I had company on Sunday night, and have not finished most of what I made, the pickles are for sale and being gifted to helpful neighbors, and have been swimming and shoveling compost to work off the rest.

I've also found time to play a few games of Mah Jongg, participated in numerous community events throughout Nashville, caught up with former colleagues and current peers, advised the Southern Governors Association on a grant application, was quoted in the Tennessean for my work with the Cultivating Healthy Communities of Faith Summit, have had nine interviews with five organizations, sent out 45 resumes, had two blog posts published, chicken, dog, child and house sat, and am taking better care of myself than I have in years.

I am excited about what my future holds and am making the best of my current situation.

Let me know if you want to buy some pickles or want a well-seasoned community organizer to come work for you!

From (Food) Slavery Unto Freedom

This is as close as I got to the First Family...or the famed White House Garden.

Last week I was one of 82 people, representing 21 organizations at the Jewish Social Justice Roundtable and White House Briefing. My place at the table came through my connection as an alumna of JOIN for Justice, where I earned my organizing chops.

As if it weren't enough pressure to be a currently former community organizer representing my work putting food deserts on the map in Nashville as part of Re/Storing Nashville and forwarding access to affordable healthy food through the Nashville Healthy Corner Store Initiative, I was the only person attending from Tennessee, and likely the only Southerner in the room. That said, I did everyone proud.

Following Mara Vanderslice Kelly's briefing, I presented her with the Re/Storing Nashville toolkit, "From Charity to Justice," which was created to shepherd congregations of multiple faiths to understand food inequity and work to change the current norm. She was impressed and anxious to pass it along to her counterpart in the USDA working on food access and the faith community. We also discussed the importance of a positive campaign to work towards change collaboratively, rather than fighting against anything.

As the day wore on, I was able to connect with some of the most passionate social change makers in the Jewish community working on universal issues: food justice, affordable housing, reproductive rights and worker rights

Our break-out groups proved to be both informative and engaging, and allowed for more in-depth discussions with administration officials who were bringing our issues and ideas to the White House. As a member of the food justice group, I brought to light the need to address xenophobia and structural racism that currently plague our food system and obstruct access to affordable healthy food for so many. My suggestion was that the administration support local efforts to legalize backyard chickens, community gardens and other means to encourage sustainable urban and rural agriculture.

One of the the key issues on the table was also the re-authorization of the Farm Bill which is slated to expire at the end of December 2012. While the text of the Farm Bill can be daunting, some of the topics on the table last week included: funding locally grown produce directly for disaster relief, sustaining S.N.A.P. benefits and programs, and cutting commodity crop subsidies in favor of supporting new farmer programs, and fruit and vegetable production.

I do not pretend to be an expert on the Farm Bill, but it is clear that if this piece of legislation is about more than just farms, and we should all be paying attention.

Upon returning from Washington, I began immediately to work on community seders at Congregation Sherith Israel, witnessing the joy of Passover and the greater joy of diners as they dug into the festive meal. The line "Let all who are hungry come and eat" rang especially true for me, as I shared parsley grown in my home garden and the synagogue's garden. I look forward to making that phrase into a sign with my Sunday School class...and then planting our summer crops.

Valen(time)

Valentine Cards 2010

I have been making and sending Valentine's Cards to family and friends since 1997.

I started out making a few cards for family members, elaborate little numbers that included hand beading and quilting fabric-like paper to card stock. It morphed into collages tailored to individual friends' senses of humor and ability to handle whatever weird or wonderful thing I found in a magazine or newspaper.

Then elaborate became an understatement. The past two years, I've really outdone myself. Two years ago, while keeping watch over my dying grandfather, I found comfort through the overnights by creating felt coasters for nearly 80 friends all over the world.

I had grand plans to continue making them for various holidays and selling them at my mom's store, beginning my crafting empire a la Martha Stewart. Needless to say, I lost interest. A tote bag full of felt squares and embroidery thread are all that remains of that ill fated endeavor.

Last year, I went almost as far, making tiny paper hearts, floating them on multiple layers of card stock with double-sided foam tape, and sharing with friends, coworkers, family, and long lost loves. The 2011 cards were conceived in Chicago on a post-Halloween trip to visit one of my most creative friends, who has an inexhaustible supply of craft supplies. The the layers of card stock were ALL from her collection. We've been talking about what I'm making this year since October.

This year, I decided not to make cards. I've called a few friends to let them know. The last time I refrained from sending these greetings of love and friendship, I got concerned calls: "Are you mad at me?" "Did I do something wrong?"

It's not you. It's me. It's been a rough year. I still love you. I just didn't feel like, or have time to, making dozens of cards that I spend weeks piecing together.

I find comfort in knowing that so many of you have kept my tiny artwork over the years. I see them in your homes and offices. I know you care. I care about you, too.

Happy Valentine's Day!
XO,
Miriam

The 2011 Valentine Factory

Health (S)Care(d)

Tomorrow my health insurance ends. That would probably explain why I haven't sleep much lately.

My coverage was through my previous employer, and because of the small staff, COBRA coverage wasn't possible. At most, I could pay $500/month for up to three months of continuing coverage under their plan. My new employer helped me with nearly half the cost of the coverage, and I am very, very grateful for that. He has been trying for the past few months to find a way to cover me. Unfortunately, that hasn't come to fruition yet.

I looked into individual coverage, but was told by insurance agents that I would either not qualify for coverage due to pre-existing conditions, or that if I did qualify, I would have to pay the highest premiums...and that my pre-existing conditions would not be covered for the first year under the plan.

My attempts to get a continuing emergency plan through my current insurance company has led to a labyrinth of phone calls leading to broken promises and zero information. The call today let me know that the office that may be able to help me closes at 5pm, but the client services representative couldn't tell me what time the office OPENS! Really?! Thanks.

There is a fantastic state run plan that would fit my needs to a tea, but it's full, and there's a waiting list. The other state run plan is open, but I have to be uninsured for three months AND denied coverage in order to qualify.

The federal program I would qualify for necessitates being both denied coverage and being uninsured for six months.

I am trying to keep a level head about the whole thing, but it is entirely frustrating and is likely to result in divulging my very long medical history to complete strangers in order to get minimum assistance paying for things like keeping my asthma under control, having follow-up mammograms, and dealing with the variety of  ailments I'm bound to pick up along the way.

Are there other options? A third job, part time, with benefits? Marriage? All proposals will be seriously considered.

I'd love to think that I've got an immune system of steel, but I just wasn't built that way. I need health insurance, and I'm scared.

My Grandma, My Hero

Sometimes you inspire your family, and sometimes they inspire you. Tonight, my grandma took it to the next level. 

Grandma May 2010

During a last minute dinner on the town tonight, Grandma told me about her triumph at her assisted living facility. (By facility, I mean a pricey one bedroom apartment, two meals each day, activities and outings, cleaning service, and a driver who will take you to the doctor or shopping, depending on the day.)

Over the winter holidays, the executive chef overspent his budget and as a result, cut all of the favorite, daily options for residents: tuna salad, chicken salad, egg salad, and chocolate ice cream. Anyone who has spent any time with the over 80 set knows that this is a complete travesty. One would’ve been bad; all four is an apocalyptic event.

Grandma, not one to sit by idly, took matters into her own hands. Of course, I coached her a bit when she first started complaining about the food, I mentioned that if she gave specifics of what she’d like to see on the menu and on her plate rather than, “the food is terrible,” on the suggestion cards that she just might get it. Shortly thereafter, she formed a committee and began meeting monthly with the chef.

This time, Grandma started to organize. The first meeting she called, only two other residents attended. Before the meeting this week, she spoke with every resident beforehand and when the meeting started, only two people came again. And then…more and more kept coming. More, and more, and more, until there were people filling the room and lining up outside in the hallway!

My Grandma started a revolution over chocolate ice cream!!!

She was proud to report that all of the items were back on the menu. I’m just proud of Grandma.

Ready for the New Year

Well, 2011 was a roller coaster. I was in two short films about food deserts, presented a webinar for the Robert Wood Johnson Foundation, worked on a federally funded healthy corner store project, advised HBO on a documentary film, failed three times at love, got into and decided not to go to grad school, was part of the Food Justice Cohort at the Hazon Food Conference, got laid off from my food justice job, had a breast cancer scare (with requisite biopsies (one of which the anesthesia didn't work) on both breasts and subsequent infections on and in one of them) and a two-month fever from an infection on an internal organ, began acupuncture which has helped me deal with tremendous stress and has given me some fantastic hallucinations, got a new job, and am looking forward to a wonderful new year.

Wishing all of you a happy, healthy, prosperous and calm 2012.

The garden I tend at my synagogue...in October!