Having a ball

A couple of years ago I went on a cooking jag of sorts. All I wanted to make was round food. It was a personal challenge, and I got pretty adept at it.

As a longtime vegetarian, there are only so many round foods to make without owning a deep fryer. If I did, I'm pretty sure I'd be as big as my house from gorging myself on hush puppies, falafel and arancini.

Instead, my round foods mostly came out oblong, sort of football shaped, with a flat side from baking most of them.

I made matzah balls, tofu "meat"balls, eggplant "meat"balls, ginger-fig truffles, kubbeh. Wow, I guess I didn't make that many round foods. I did talk about them an awful lot, though.

For a while I thought I'd end up writing a cookbook: Saucy Balls; Sweet & Spicy Balls; Baked & Buttery Balls; Mouth Full of Balls. I'd giggle for hours and call my friends in far away places with similar middle school senses of humor. I thought I was totally hilarious. Making up inappropriate cookbook titles was almost as fun as cooking and eating those tasty balls. Ooh! Tasty Balls: Getting a Round.

Last night I made sweet and sour tofu balls for the first time. The recipe is a little fussy, and while it says to cook them for a total of 40 minutes, I'm pretty sure mine were in the oven for almost 2 hours. They must be done, right? They look crispy and browned.

My personal philosophy with tofu is: if it's crunchy it's done. Actually, I like most of my food well-done. Guess that's why I'm a vegetarian. Meat didn't taste great when it was cooked beyond recognition, but I couldn't handle bloody juices. Totally freaked me out. I would burst into tears if there was any meat liquid on my plate. Runny eggs are the same way. If you want to see me cry, bring on underdone eggs. Actually, I'll just send them back until they're right. Ask my parents. They cringe every time we go out for breakfast.

After several unhappy restaurant experiences with omelets, I just order scrambled over well at this point. It's easier for everyone that way.

Back to the balls. I've always wanted to make popcorn balls. Maybe someday. Maybe that will be part of my continuing cookbook development. Now, who's coming over for dinner?!