Billed me up

Last night I paid my bills.

It was a typical Thursday night. I'd had the day off, so I slept in a little, gone to the pool for a swim and some sun, did a little work, went to physical therapy, went to group therapy, and skipped the movie I'd considered seeing in favor of checking something off one of my lists of chores for the week.

I used to dread paying my bills.

I was never sure if there would be enough left after each paycheck got deposited to purchase the basics, like food. There usually was, but it was close sometimes, especially when I'd make donations and forget I still had one more big bill coming.

Six months ago, I was at that point. Last night, I was free from the fear and anxiety that used to come from bill paying. I was able to pay everything at once, with plenty left over to move into my savings account for emergencies.

There is a big sigh of relief when you finally reach one of your goals. I didn't think of this goal as a big one. I thought of it as a way to retain my middle class status, a way to retain my dignity and self-respect, a way to reflect the hard work I do, a way to justify the multiple jobs I work.

While this was a great goal, now I get to adjust it. Now I get to figure out how to maintain this path of financial security while increasing my ability to have a social life (preferably by working fewer jobs).

Some people have bucket lists. My lists are much more mundane. Buy a house. Check. Lose weight. Check. Get finances in order. Check.

Instead of focusing on the mundane, I think it's time to focus on the really important things: following my passions, and finding passion with someone else.